Rap
by windmill-of-death
Summary: Fred and George become famous rappers, but something is wrong with Ron. Crack fic.
1. It begins

Ron breathed out, he had just finished the longest rap of his life; it had been 2 minutes long. Harry regretted showing Ron rap music just as he regretted introducing Hermione to country and western, but that's another story. Harry looked around the room, Hermione had her head in her hand, Ginny was gaping horrified at her brother and Fred and George were in fits of silent laughter. Ron's ears began to redden and he became extremely interested in his shoelaces.  
"Well since you're feeling so musical Ron-" said one of the twins  
"We thought we'd come up with a little something "said the other. One twin brought his hand to his mouth and began to beat-box, as his brother got up and began to rap with exceptional skill.  
Once they had reached their epic conclusion, Harry began to applaud enthusiastically; it was a while before he noticed he was the only one, he stopped realizing how stupid he must look. Meanwhile Fred and George had left shouting "Tip your waitresses we're here all week. Peace!"as they backed out of the room.  
"Wow that really was something wasn't it?"Harry said to Hermione.  
"Hmm" said Hermione vacantly over the top of a very thick book.  
"What I don't get "said Ron finally emerging from some sort of trance "is how they came up with that in about 5 seconds, it took me 2 days to write mine!"  
"Well to be fair Ron, you've never been much of a writer "said Ginny  
"And what, Fred and George have?"  
"Well there are two of them."

Harry and Ron were lying silently in bed, waiting for Mrs Weasley to go to sleep so they could carry on their discussion about the upcoming match between the Chudley Cannons and the Holyhead Harpies. The Cannons were going to be slaughtered, but Ron remained optimistic.

"Maybe one of the players will have an accident and not be able to play!" he kept saying happily.

They heard Mrs Weasley's bedroom door close somewhere beneath them. There was silence for a few seconds, Harry tried to break it but couldn't think of anything else to say on the subject they had been talking about so spiritedly just moments before. He waited for Ron to say something, but he seemed to be having the same trouble as Harry, so they lay in silence for a bit longer.

"Soooooo, what about Fred and George?" said Harry, voicing the question he had been burning to ask all day, but no one seemed to want to answer.

Ron's face stiffened "what about them?". His hostility confused Harry, he had understood why Ron didn't want to talk about it earlier- Hermione had been there and he didn't want to bring up the subject of his terrible rap, hoping that she would forget about it-but now Harry couldn't see any reason why he wouldn't want to talk about it.

"What's the matter?" he asked, hoisting himself up on his pillows and looking at the red headed boy in the other bed.

"Nothing. I'm tired" said Ron bitterly as he turned over so he wasn't looking at his friend. Harry waited for a while, but Ron didn't stir, so he turned over and slid back under his covers.


	2. Chapter 2

Harry woke up and looked automatically over to the next bed; which was empty. He dressed at top speed and went down stairs. When he entered the Burrow kitchen, it was empty apart from two gingers sitting at the table. As Harry approached, Ron got up and left without a second glance. "What's up with him?" asked Ginny.

"This Fred and George thing seems to be getting to him." said Harry sitting down opposite her.

"Oh, that" said Ginny darkly.

"What?"

"Nothing"

"Come one"

"Okay, get this" she said eagerly as if she had been bursting to tell him for ages "have you ever heard of the Jackson 5?"

"Yeah..." said Harry slowly, surprised that she had and wondering where this story was going.

"Well so had Dad." she continued "And you know how he is with muggle stuff, so he decided to make his own. He got 5 of my brothers to dress up and sing and do little dances and things, it was so sweet."

"And who was this?" said Harry, beginning to smile.

"Ron, Charlie, Fred, George and Percy, yes, Percy. He was doing it for Dad's approval; whereas Fred, George and Charlie were just doing it for a laugh. They were pretty good actually; they could do cute little dances and backing vocals, and look awesome in afros, but Ron, Ron was the star. He was the lead, he sung centre stage. They somehow got on the WWN. That's when it started. He got too big for his broom. And then his voice started to brake. They couldn't carry on, they had to stop. It's quite sad really, no one even remembers them. So that's why I think he's jealous... and stuff" she finished lamely before walking out of the door and going upstairs.

Ginny opened the door slightly, poked her head through and looked around: Fred was lying on the floor in front of a large cauldron and George was sitting cross-legged on his bed scribbling in a note book. "Hey" she muttered. No response. Ginny took this to mean she was allowed in. "I wanted to talk to you two. You seem to of upset Ron with this whole you turning out to be really good and potentially revolutionary rap artists thingy. You know about the Weasley 5 and how much he loved it and misses it and you're doing this on purpose aren't you?" she said catching sight of her brothers' faces.

"Well it's his fault" said Fred "he was such a prima donna"

"Yeah, if he hadn't of been they might've let him stay on as a blues singer or something" added George. Ginny sighed; she knew the battle was lost.

"Watcha doin'?" she asked, wandering over to her brother and trying to read over his shoulder.

"I'm working on 'that whole being really good and potentially revolutionary rappers thingy'. Just in case the joke shop" he gestured over to Fred "doesn't work out we need a back-up plan."

Ginny sighed again and left.


End file.
